The nervous, positive, hopeful Tuesday we have been waiting for for 2 weeks. It came, it went and set in pretty hard with me. Lets just say, I was maybe a little too hopeful for the results.  

The way the Drs. looked into my eyes when they came into the room to deliver the news. I will never forget. 

"Stage 4" they said and "We were surprised to see on the PET scan how much your cancer had spread as it did not show on the CAT scans."

Lets just say . . . the lemon just became much more sour. I am covered all over my chest (lymph nodes). The right side, the left side, the lemon in my lung and then my adrenal glands and then next to my liver, pancreas and my spine (my freakin' bones it is putting it's feet in). Speechless. Our fight is going to be a lot bigger now.  

I cried a little-lot, but was able to pull myself together and had my listening ears on (my kids always say that) and we talked about plans for 4 hours. In the end we decided that Wednesday, Feb 8th, I would go in for a blood transfusion as I am severely anemic. Friday, I would go in for a Bronchoscopy (biopsy down my throat) to grab more tissue as that is where most of my cancer is. They are wanting to start Immunotherapy on Tuesday while they wait for more results to come in. It is confusing - a lot of crazy Dr. words . . . so I will spare you. Just wanted to give you guys the overall update. 

We cannot thank you all enough for all the sign ups for helping hands and the donations, phone calls, emails and texts. It has made Paul and I feel so loved.  We are going to try our hardest and I am going to try my hardest to beat this. This is def the hardest moment of my life so far. 

If I don't return your call or email, please don't take it personally. I will when I can. I am taking time off from work and from the computer to truly focus on my health. I will, however, blog once in a while as it is super therapeutic for me.  

Much love,

Alix and Paul